since I went for a few pints tonight , this weeks write up is by a guy who has written a few in the past
This week's award was a absolute slugfest between four of the biggest
names the PDC have to offer all shown live on the BBC, so any soap
dodging kiddie fiddler hoping for yet another win for that neolithic
organisation terrestrial television have forgotten about may as well
crawl away and die right now.
Hoping to snag a early lead in proceedings was Dave "chizzy" Chisnall as
once again the St Helens sharpshooter who talks like a drowning
mongoloid with a cleft palate folded quicker than the bonnet on Marc
Bolans yellow mini.
Also making a early burst for the winning line was "mighty" Michael van
Gerwen...world champion, World number one and a sex pest supremo that
has put more prostitutes on their backs than Peter Sutcliffe's hammer,
as the downy looking fuckstain fell at the first fence against a
resurgent Ray Barneveld sporting a brand new Pritt-Stick & public
hair wig that Sylvia had cobbled together in the players lounge.
The second round saw the other two contenders for KOTW make a appearance
as father of the year Peter "the painted spastic" Wright and Adrian
"male breast cancer awareness week" Lewis both got their cunts smashed
in with woeful performances.
Round 3 and the race hotted up as Chizzy's sphincter started twitching
morse code messages to his underpants, warning of oncoming heavy traffic
& skidmarks aplenty.
Mvg tried his usual antics of coughing like he's dying of pleurisy
against Taylor yet still got fucking shafted out of the tournament and
Snackpot the man who last saw his genitalia around the same time Michael
Jackson stopped breathing, rolled over for the third successive game
against the headshaking postman.
Winner winner chicken dinner is the one....the only....Peter "fuck
paying child support" Wright as the toxic plastic jock spunked
eight...yes EIGHT match darts to beat Gary Anderson due to the fact he
soiled his underpants faster than Goatse having a sneezing fit the
morning after consuming 10 pints of Guinness & a mutton vindaloo.